Scott (my husband) and I have talked about this question a couple of times: Isn't it kind of ironic how we celebrate the holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas in particular?
We say that Thanksgiving and Christmas are holidays to be thankful and compassionate to others. Give a little more, instead of get a little more. And yet, the latter often times seems to be the main focus of these holidays. I know this is not a novel concept, but I did want to touch on it a little. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love a great Thanksgiving feast with all of my family, and the time I have off to relax and enjoy myself. But if most of the focus is on our desire to please ourselves and indulge in bane desires like eating, I know that my focus can be misplaced and I become a little selfish over the holiday.
In the scriptures, every time the people were expressing thanks to their Heavenly Father they actually fasted instead of feasted. Isn't that interesting? I never realized how backwards we have turned. Just think, if all of us really did spend the day before Thanksgiving Day fasting and spending the time we would have spent eating, thinking about all of our blessings and thanking the Lord for what he has given us, by the time the Thanksgiving feast would come the next day, you better bet we will be thankful for that food! What is funny is that there are some thanksgivings where I have gone from feast to feast trying to see all of my family. So it turns into more of a, "Ok...I guess I can eat a little more..." rather than "Oh man I am so thankful for this food!" Mind you, not all of my Thanksgivings have been that way (it is only since I have been married that I have tried to see two families in one day on Thanksgiving), so most of the time my attitude is, "I am starving! I can't wait to eat!" But I was just thinking: Do we celebrate our holidays the right way? Shouldn't our Thanksgivings should be spent, perhaps, with a little fasting and reflecting as well as feasting? Let me know your thoughts. :)
Monday, November 21, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
First Thought: Cuddling Couples
So, I think there are a set of unspoken rules, but actively followed rules none-the-less (at least for most couples that I have seen), that ALL married couples should follow when in presence of non-married couples/people.
One of these rules is the overarching caution to refrain from PDA (aka. public display of affection) when in the company of unmarried people.
For example, if you are married and you and your spouse are on a group date with other unmarried couples (especially if some are significantly younger than you) I think it is courteous to act in all ways socially acceptable to make the other couple(s) as comfortable as possible, just as you would in any social setting. Only this particular social setting is in fact a date. In other words, some people are still thinking about whether or not they may want to legally bind their relationship at some point in the future. And the fact that some people are married and others are not is kind of the big elephant in the room that no one addresses. Therefore, since you are a married couple, it is your responsibility to refrain from those activities that so obviously define you as being married. Because as soon as you do, BOOM! There is the elephant! Staring with its huge ugly trunk right square in front of the faces of those unmarried people! Do you want a big elephant reminder for all of the things that you can't seem to get checked off your life's to do list?? NO! Nobody does. That would be annoying and awfully rude of those controlling the elephant. So, as the married couple, you have the responsibility to control your elephant. (That came out wrong...but you know what I mean). Act as naturally as possible minus the cuddling, kissing, tender nicknames, baboon-like couple-cleaning tendencies, inside jokes/stories, and all other "strictly married company" activities. Unless the other couple(s) is/are engaged, or close to being engaged to the point where they are acting just like a married couple, you should act, in a sense, like two old friends who happen to live together.
Get the picture? Good. :) Now go out all you married couples, and be married responsibly.
One of these rules is the overarching caution to refrain from PDA (aka. public display of affection) when in the company of unmarried people.
For example, if you are married and you and your spouse are on a group date with other unmarried couples (especially if some are significantly younger than you) I think it is courteous to act in all ways socially acceptable to make the other couple(s) as comfortable as possible, just as you would in any social setting. Only this particular social setting is in fact a date. In other words, some people are still thinking about whether or not they may want to legally bind their relationship at some point in the future. And the fact that some people are married and others are not is kind of the big elephant in the room that no one addresses. Therefore, since you are a married couple, it is your responsibility to refrain from those activities that so obviously define you as being married. Because as soon as you do, BOOM! There is the elephant! Staring with its huge ugly trunk right square in front of the faces of those unmarried people! Do you want a big elephant reminder for all of the things that you can't seem to get checked off your life's to do list?? NO! Nobody does. That would be annoying and awfully rude of those controlling the elephant. So, as the married couple, you have the responsibility to control your elephant. (That came out wrong...but you know what I mean). Act as naturally as possible minus the cuddling, kissing, tender nicknames, baboon-like couple-cleaning tendencies, inside jokes/stories, and all other "strictly married company" activities. Unless the other couple(s) is/are engaged, or close to being engaged to the point where they are acting just like a married couple, you should act, in a sense, like two old friends who happen to live together.
Get the picture? Good. :) Now go out all you married couples, and be married responsibly.
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